I’m a fairly loud know-it-all. But I’m forgiving.
It’s okay to be loud. Okay to be erudite.
My public behavior is defensive diversion.
Crack a joke, make a self-deprecating remark.
That works, by damn, like a true charm.
A psychiatrist who occasionally came on my show
Asked me if I’d read
“Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism”
By Chöngyam Trungpa.
The next time he came on (it was an interview radio show),
He brought it for me to borrow.
I was 32. I read it. And things just fell into place.
Since I’m fairly loud and a know-it-all, I knew
It would be a long journey for me.
I’m over twice again that age now and
I’ve done some burning in a Savonarola blaze:
Drinking (not all that much), doing drugs (benign stuff),
Being elected to sexual congress less than desired.
And finding that the one thing I most desired to do
I wasn’t too terribly good at. I’m a mediocre artist.
But I’m a very good photographer, a passable
Wordsmith, and I can take care of myself.
Thank you, Rinpoche. I wish you hadn’t let
Yourself go so badly there at the end, but
As you know, it’s not the outside, but the inside.
I forgive you and, sometime soon, I’ll forgive myself.